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  • are you gay?

  • straight people:

    wHAT?! NO! WHAT THE HELL OF COURSE NOT! I MEAN IM COOL WITH GAY PEOPLE BUT NO!!!

  • gay people:

    hella

  • pan/bi/poly people:

    ish?

  • are you straight?

  • straight people:

    YES????? WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE???? DO I LOOK GAY???? IS IT MY SHIRT????

  • gay people:

    nah

  • pan/bi/poly people:

    ish?

ilarual:

Maybe it’s the fact that I read the first three HP books in under 48 hours this weekend, but I suddenly have a (surprisingly clearly-developed) plot for yet another fic it’s going to take me about a million years to get around to writing.

Okay, bear with me for a second… Hogwarts AU. Just picture it.

Pureblood Maka not understanding Muggles at all and desperately taking every advanced Muggle Studies class she can to try and not look like an idiot whenever one of her mixed blood or Muggle-born friends starts talking about their home life.

Black*Star absolutely dominating as one of the beaters on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team (Kilik is the other one, they’re best bros and an unbeatable pair), trying to come to terms with the fact that his father was a serious Dark wizard.

Kid the headmaster’s son, Ravenclaw prefect, constantly dodging accusations of nepotism and doing his best to just… just not look at the castle, because if he thinks about it too much he’s only going to get upset.

Liz and Patti, whose mother was part Veela and who never knew their father(s?), dealing with being sorted into different houses (Slytherin and Hufflepuff respectively) and constantly getting in trouble for giving each other their own dormitory passwords.

Muggle-born Soul, the very first wizard in his family, being sorted into Slytherin and having absolutely no idea how to deal with that because he likes Slytherin, it fits, it works for him, and he gets on pretty well with his housemates, but… well, thanks to that loud blue-haired kid on the train, he knew going into this that Slytherins as a whole have a reputation for not being super keen on Muggle-borns, and is he supposed to keep his family a secret, or…???

Transfer student Tsubaki, who’s been sent to Hogwarts as part of a two-year exchange program intended to foster greater international unity between wizarding communities (it’s deemed a lot safer than the Tri-Wizard tournament, at any rate).

Rumors flying about the Heretic Witch, Arachne, returning from her long exile and years of successfully evading the Ministry’s attempts to recapture her. More rumors about a possible spy somewhere among the staff and students of Hogwarts, and the school nurse’s child Crona as the prime suspect.

Maka taking forever to be sorted, because she’s a great candidate for Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin pretty much equally, and she had always expected to be sorted into Ravenclaw just like her mother, but the hat just sits there and grumbles to itself for like five minutes before finally putting her in Gryffindor and she just doesn’t know what to feel about that.

Stein as the creepy but much-beloved Potions master. Marie teaching Charms. Justin Law, the youngest Hogwarts teacher in over a century, teaching both Arithmancy and Ancient Runes (he always was an overachiever). Azusa as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor everyone dreads having every year because she’s the strictest teacher in school, but she’s also the best person for the job and once you’ve gone through five years with her, it would take one hell of a Dark wizard to take you down without a fight.

Soul not being especially badly affected by Dementors, but also being really vulnerable to them since he’s incapable of producing a Patronus, because you need happy thoughts for that.

Joe Buttataki teaching Divination and taking Maka under his wing as a very gifted potential Seer.

I just

HOGWARTS AU

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